don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
