Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
