too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
