He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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