ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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