Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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