Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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