That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
operation harelip BJ is a go
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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