Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So much Jack, so little girl.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
