You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
