just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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