I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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