You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
