it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
