Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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