So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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