WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize