You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
