meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
