Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
