I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
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bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.