apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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