I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
