I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
