So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
