Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
