I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
