Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
