They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
