I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just had sex bonerless
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
