Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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