Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
