How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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