drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
