Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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