u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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