we have pet lesbian snakes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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