So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
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