My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I understand Curling. That high.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am one with the molecules
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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