insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
whose ass print is on the piano?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
