I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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