saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize