i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Two words: nipple clamps
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