Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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