When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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