I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
