Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
