Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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