i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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