Do you still have your period?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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