I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
