If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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