So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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