Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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