I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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