Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
