I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
