Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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